Blogger can suck my left nut.

It's true. It can.

I have tried to post four times yesterday and each time, the site was down for maintenance. What kind of shit is that? The world needs me. It needs the crap that I spew from my brain. It's good shit.

Anywho, I was all in a fluster over something that happened while at the local CVS drugstore yesterday. Not just any CVS drugstore, the CVS here. Near the corner of Lee Road and North Orlando Ave. in Winter Park.

You see my fine readers that this very CVS is the home to the most insane people you will ever meet. I've been in there before and seen some odd things, Melissa has too, but yesterday was somethin' special.

As I enter the store, I hear this loud shrill voice. I couldn't make out what it was saying, but as I rounded the corner toward the checkout counter...

There was an old woman. A tiny old yenta. You know the ones with the big gaudy jewelry, slacks pulled up so high that you can barely see her neck. A big ruffled printed blouse and a handbag that could hold the Louisiana Superdome. Her hair was all curly and perfect in its dark brown with a hint of grey.

She was standing dead center in the lobby checkout area asking in her own special way, which if you are not well versed in the ways of the yenta, you could mistaken it for shouting. Actually a bit more than shouting.

Why was this woman so angry you might ask? Well she was looking for hand lotion. Hand lotion people! The two twenty something clerks behind the counter were standing together shoulder to shoulder because, I think, they wanted to show her that they were bigger than her. Much like how you would treat a wild animal on the loose. Scare it back to where it needed to be. These two clerks had the strangest look on their face. They were stone faces and motionless.

"If you don't see it on the shelf, we don't have it.", one of the clerks said.

"Why don't you have it. A big store like this? You should have it.", she fired back.

"We have lotion. Its called body lotion.", the other clerk adds.

"No! I want hand lotion."

I stood there for a good minute or two making eye contact with one of the clerks who raised the corner of his mouth at the horrified look on my face as I watched the scene unfold.

I contiued in to the store to find some Breath Right strips, yes I snore. Very badly I will add. It took me a good few minutes to find the strips and head back to the counter. I contemplated looking for some lotion and buying it to give to her on the way out, but I decided against it. I also thought of finding some lotion and throwing it at her, but figured that might be a bad thing.

At the counter, the screaming has subsided. I look for her, but don't see her. The woman in line in front of me moves to the other cash register to pay. As she moves her shopping cart, I notice the old bitch is at the counter. I chuckled at the fact that I could not see her past the shopping cart due to her size. The clerk seems annoyed to still be dealing with her.

"Wow, that really adds up.", she says as the clerk announces her total. "It would have been more if you had the hand lotion."

He looks up at me and I just chuckle.

She is fumbling with the card reader key pad. She is mumbling to herself. "A store this big. I can't believe there is not hand lotion."

She collects her bag full of granola bars and slim-fast shake mixes and heads on her way.

I get to the counter and the clerk takes a moment to decompress before cashing me out. He just shakes his head.

As I am being cashed out. I notice a basket full of body lotion on the counter.

1 comments:

swirlogirl 2:03 PM  

hahahaha PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET!




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