Trust is a powerful thing.

Before going any further, I celebrated my two year "blog birthday" on the 12th. Thanks for noticing (Don't feel bad, I forgot too).

Now on to the real topic of the day. I don't do drugs. Never have. Probably never will. I'm not in to it. Alcohol is my only drug. Unless you count tobacco when from time to time I have a cigarette on a stressful evening at work or a big fat Romeo y Juliet cigar during a lazy Sunday. I have my vices. I don't think I need many more.

Are buffalo wings a drug? How `bout pork? I almost cried the other day when I realized that a vegetarian line cook of mine would live the rest of his life without a pork product. A life without pork. What's the point?

Anywho... Everyone says that it is the parents job to teach children to say no to drugs. I agree. I think it is also the responsibility of many others. For example, cartoon characters. Cartoon characters like Daren the DARE lion over here. Like his distant far off cousin Mickey Mouse, he has never filled us with laugher, but instead filled us with things like knowledge. He taught us that... Well... Don't do drugs. Then again, if he's not making the kids go into epileptic seizures by the flashing of color and motion, how ever will he get the message to the kids of today? How will they learn? I mean christ! He looks like he's drawn by an art school intern! They need to update his ass for the new millennium. Anime his ass!

Or maybe they don't.


I personally believe in a message that is catchy. "Don't do drugs" has no flare! "Say No To Drugs" has no umf! I have always told people, "Hugs Not Drugs" or if you have a few seconds more, "Say No To Drugs, Say Yes To Hugs". It doesn't have the same ring, but it does the trick. Everybody loves hugs. And wouldn't you want that over some PCP?

I am a very easily persuaded person. At one point in my life I was thinking about doing some horse tranquilizers when I had the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. As I stepped up to the urinal, it spoke to me. The target for my water gun had a message for me. It told me not to use drugs. As I stared at it while trying to make the urinal cake disappear with the power of my stream, I thought more and more about it. Why the hell does this urinal care what I do? Why should I listen to it? What does it know? It's just some stinky ass filth hole that receives my urine.

Point of the story... I don't trust urinals. Or any other bathroom fixture. I just don't. I never have and I never will. If a urinal or even a toilet bowl for that matter told me to do something, I wouldn't necessarily think that I had to do it. They are not the boss of me.

I think that my dread of bathroom fixtures gave me the insight that the character of Sloane on Alias was bad because he was named after a bathroom fixture company. I don't trust urinals and I don't trust Sloane.

4 comments:

Trav 9:45 PM  

AGHHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!
Bessss posssst everrr!

swirlogirl 6:42 PM  

isnt that the old vogue man that took his pants down in front of carrie bradshaw!

Trav 7:27 PM  

YUP!
HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Brian 9:26 PM  

I can't believe I'm drunk.

Drunk at Vogue.




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