The cat is out of the bag.

First off, thanks to Maxine, our first ever guest writer on "Wonderful Time", I am pleased to see that she had such a great time over the past week. The site is back to normal today, at least until Thursday when Having a Wonderful Time turns 1 year old. For those in the Orlando area, there will be cake. Drop me a line if you want a slice.

I was not planning on let you folks in on what I have been doing over the past week, but Maxine kindda hinted at it in her post yesterday and since then, people have been E-mailing and IM'ing me about this "fighting crime" thing she mentioned. Well, here's the skinny...

Last week, Mel and I visited our local Target store. She needed storage bags and I, a rake. We have a small patch of dirt in our "backyard" and it is covered with leaves. I decided against paying $20 for a B.A. Rake (big ass) and opted for the small plastic Fisherprice-like $3.99 jobby.

As we were walking through the store, I began swinging it around like some sort of samurai. We came across an older couple that looked like the satanists from "Ghost World". The woman was old, like one foot in the grave old. She was wearing a mid-drift shirt that exposed her flabby wrinkly stomach that had more folds on it than the back cover of a MAD magazine. Seeing this sight, I decided, I needed to rid the world of such disgusting and terrible crimes. And so was born...


Finally, a superhero for the new millenium. There he stands in his Red T-Shirt of Truth, Cargo Pants of Justice and Sandles of Biblical Proportions. With his trusty rake, he set off to right the wrongs of society.

Some may ask, "Will Rakeman look after me?" The answer is simple, "Of course stupid, he's here for everyone." There is no mountain that he cannot climb to come to your aid.

Let's say that you are being carjacked...Rakeman will be there to help.

Maybe your child is being beaten up by a school bully or your teenage daughter is having trouble fitting in a new school. Well rake man will "Take the Rake" to anyone who is doing wrong and defend those in need.

Rakeman is also there for domestic problems. Say for instance that you can't reach something on a high shelf in the grocery store, well that long rake aint just for rakin' up the bad guys, it's pretty handy for getting at things too.

Rakeman understands and enjoys the holesomness of family. It is important in this sometimes confusing and strange world we live in. Rakeman finds himself to be a champion of the family, always doing what he can.

Yes, Rakeman is pretty fantastic. As I said before, there is no place that he won't go to to make sure the world is a safe place.

Just remember, where ever there is trouble, he will be there with his Cargo pants of Justice. All you need to do is call.


Brian 9:47 PM  

So its only been an hour or two since I posted about my superhero identity and it has already made the rounds.

Stacy Cakes 10:54 PM  

You are such a tool...I guess I can say that literally now. I have to say the mountain top was my fave! LOL

swirlogirl 9:10 AM  

HAHAHAHA you are out of control! best thing to read first thing in the morning by far! i'm mailing out a cd of pics today too. keep an eye out.

steph 10:40 AM  

i am sitting here with my entire hand in my mouth, biting down as hard as possible to stop from laughing so damn hard!

i was sad when i came to the end of the post and there was no more rakeman pics... how can rakeman help me with this?

Brian 7:03 PM  

You just have to trust that Rakeman will be there for you at all times. You never know, he may just be right behind you when you least expect it.

swirlogirl 8:51 PM  

hahahah stop it! hahahahahaha!

Anonymous 9:30 PM  

To think Rakeman is the fruit of my loins!!!! I am so proud. Keep up the good work Rakeman. Mom

Brian 9:57 AM  

You know you've hit it big when...

A) Stacy posts a comment. I mean damn! I think everyone was shocked by that one.

B) My mom posts a commment. By the way...did she just say "Fruit of my Loins"? Eck.

steph 12:26 PM  

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH YES!!!!! i will keep the rakeman spirit alive this afternoon by chasing old ladies down the street, waving around trowel and a hoe!

and if niether of those are handy i'll just pick up a hooker. you know, whatever.

Rakeman 7:22 PM  

I appreciate your spirit Steph, just remember the road to enlightenment is not paved with LSD and sideburns!

Captain Big Wang 3:58 PM  

That is some funny shit, I love it!
This is the firs time I have been able to really look your blog over, and I must say, Bravo, bravo old boy, I am impressed. You will have to show me how to do some of those pic posting things, I have lots of Ideas, but lack the know how to get them on my blog.

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